remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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