finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
