this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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