I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
