Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
