Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It's blow job season.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
