he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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