So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
