I'd wear matching sweaters with you
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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