i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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