We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
