Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
