thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
