he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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