Whod you bang
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
