im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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