I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
