I think I died a long time ago.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
