I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
