Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
