I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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