capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
