I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You are a genius and a whore.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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