my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
