Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
