Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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