There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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