Is it because I queefed?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
