shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
