well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
