Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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