I will die if light touches me.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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