he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
