you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We just shotgunned beers for America
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
