her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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