Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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