he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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