White coat. Heels.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
