I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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