Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
