I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
