what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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