If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
