guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
