He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
