Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
