he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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