is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
