At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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