Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just got carded by a ten year old.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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