I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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