Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
