We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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